Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Mordechai Geldman

LOSS

 
Something in me repeats in an obsessive beat
that I may have lost something
or left it behind
in the café or the bookstore
where I’d been
I searched my possessions
and no loss was found
nor did I discover what had been lost
but the loss
kept asserting its existence
through palpitations and minor fits
Athenian sophists philosophized:
“A thing you haven’t lost
is necessarily in your possession
you haven’t lost a tail—therefore, you have a tail
or vice versa
what you’ve lost was necessarily yours”
but what have I lost?
I must look for my loss
in order to know what I’m looking for
is it an object or a thing or the thing
and was it mine before it was lost
or is it that some inner authority
is trying to bequeath me, like a Hellenistic sophist,
something I had never possessed
as for example a chance
as if I ever stood a chance
 

אבֵדה

אבֵדה


מַשֶּׁהוּ בְּתוֹכִי מוֹדִיעַ בְּמִקְצָב אוֹבְּסֶסִיבִי
כִּי יִתָּכֵן שֶׁאִבַּדְתִּי מַשֶּׁהוּ
אוֹ שָׁכַחְתִּי
בְּבֵית הַקָּפֶה אוֹ בַּחֲנוּת הַסְּפָרִים
בָּהֶם עָצַרְתִּי
סָרַקְתִּי אֶת חֲפָצַי
וְלֹא נִמְצְאָה בָּם אֲבֵדָה
לֹא גִּלִּיתִי מָה אָבַד
אֲבָל הָאָבְדָן
הִמְשִׁיךְ לְהוֹדִיעַ עַל קִיּוּמוֹ
כִּפְעִימוֹת אוֹ הֶתְקֵפִים קַלִּים
סוֹפִיסְטִים אָתוּנָאִים הִתְפַּלְפְּלוּ –
"דָּבָר שֶׁלֹּא אִבַּדְתָּ
בְּהֶכְרֵחַ מָצוּי בִּרְשׁוּתְךָ
לֹא אָבַד לְךָ זָנָב – יֵשׁ לְךָ, עַל כֵּן, זָנָב
אוֹ לְהֵפֶךְ:
מַה שֶּׁאִבַּדְתָּ בְּהֶכְרֵחַ הָיָה שֶׁלְּךָ"
אַךְ מָה אָבַד לִי?
עָלַי לְחַפֵּשׂ אֶת אֲבֵדָתִי
כְּדֵי לָדַעַת מַה לְּחַפֵּשׂ
הַאִם הוּא חֵפֶץ אוֹ דָּבָר אוֹ הַדָּבָר
וְהַאִם הָיָה שֶׁלִּי לִפְנֵי שֶׁאָבַד
אוֹ שֶׁרָשׁוּת פְּנִימִית כָּלְשֶׁהִי
מְנַסָּה לְנַכֵס לִי, כְּסוֹפִיסְט הֶלֶנִי,
דָּבָר שֶׁמֵּעוֹלָם לֹא הָיָה לִי
לְמָשָׁל סִכּוּי
כְּאִלּוּ הָיָה לִי סִכּוּי
Close

LOSS

 
Something in me repeats in an obsessive beat
that I may have lost something
or left it behind
in the café or the bookstore
where I’d been
I searched my possessions
and no loss was found
nor did I discover what had been lost
but the loss
kept asserting its existence
through palpitations and minor fits
Athenian sophists philosophized:
“A thing you haven’t lost
is necessarily in your possession
you haven’t lost a tail—therefore, you have a tail
or vice versa
what you’ve lost was necessarily yours”
but what have I lost?
I must look for my loss
in order to know what I’m looking for
is it an object or a thing or the thing
and was it mine before it was lost
or is it that some inner authority
is trying to bequeath me, like a Hellenistic sophist,
something I had never possessed
as for example a chance
as if I ever stood a chance
 

LOSS

 
Something in me repeats in an obsessive beat
that I may have lost something
or left it behind
in the café or the bookstore
where I’d been
I searched my possessions
and no loss was found
nor did I discover what had been lost
but the loss
kept asserting its existence
through palpitations and minor fits
Athenian sophists philosophized:
“A thing you haven’t lost
is necessarily in your possession
you haven’t lost a tail—therefore, you have a tail
or vice versa
what you’ve lost was necessarily yours”
but what have I lost?
I must look for my loss
in order to know what I’m looking for
is it an object or a thing or the thing
and was it mine before it was lost
or is it that some inner authority
is trying to bequeath me, like a Hellenistic sophist,
something I had never possessed
as for example a chance
as if I ever stood a chance
 
Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Ludo Pieters Gastschrijver Fonds
Lira fonds
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère